This month on our blog, we will be talking a lot about Marriage and Missions. We’re answering some common questions that wives ask concerning their marriage.
How do you balance marriage, mothering, and ministry?
1. Obviously the first thing to do is make a priority list. Mine probably looks the same as yours. God, husband, children, ministry. Always in this order. These things don’t always need to be separate, by the way. Many times in my world, they collide pretty nicely.
2. Secondly, I get my husband’s input on my schedule and ministry. I also listen for any comments (or complaints) he makes about how I’m managing our home/children.
3. My husband helps me decide how much ministry he wants me to do. Every married couple would need to decide this for themselves. I can’t compare what I do with another ministry wife. If her husband is happy with what she is doing, then it’s not for me to criticise.
4. I need to know my weaknesses. For instance, I could spend a lot of time in the ministry and let my housework decline. If my husband doesn’t like coming home to a chaotic house, I can’t ignore it. Some other ministry wives may be the opposite and tend to ignore the ministry. They would probably need to learn how to compensate for this.
5. I’m constantly looking for better methods of running my house and restructuring my schedule. When I find a better way, I try to implement it right away.
6. There are certain triggers that I look out for to make me stop and reevaluate my life: fatigue, bad attitude, bitterness, excessive crying, easily irritable. If I find myself struggling with a few of these things all at once, I know I’ve got the wrong balance and something needs to change. Your triggers may be different than mine.
7. Lastly, but most importantly, I ask God to guide me. Prayer is by far the most important element of my marriage, mothering and ministry. I can’t do anything right in my own power. I need God’s power working through me every day.
Can you explain how submission works in your marriage?
1. In the world’s view, submission is a bad word. Because I want a God-centered marriage, I can’t ignore what the Bible says about submission. God designed the man to be the leader in the home. Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
2. I don’t think submission comes naturally to any woman. I truly believe it’s something that can only be done through God’s power. I also believe that it can be a way for a wife to worship God. In obeying our husband, we are obeying God therefore bringing Him glory. I submit to my husband not because he deserves it, but because God commands it. I submit to my husband not because I enjoy it, but because I enjoy pleasing God.
3. Submission is not always easy because I am a selfish person and I don’t like anyone telling me what to do. My husband never demands me to submit. He listens to my opinion, but when it comes time to make a decision, he has the final word. But to be honest, he answers to God for how he leads our family. I’m glad that burden doesn’t rest on me.
4. We as wives are always so scared for our husbands to make the wrong decision. We like to think we know better. But I believe God blesses the marriage where the husband leads, even if he isn’t the best at making the decisions. God is pleased when we follow His design.
How do you handle it when you feel there are areas in your husband’s life that he needs to improve?
1. Prayer. Prayer. Prayer. Not nagging. Not reminding. Not implying. Not correcting. Just prayer.
2. I’ve done this wrong more often than not. It just makes so much logical sense to verbally tell my husband what he is doing wrong, right? I don’t know about your marriage, but this has never worked in my marriage. Ever. It actually has the opposite effect. And if you think about it, do you really want a husband that obeys his wife? Not me. I’m actually glad my husband is a man that doesn’t want to do what a woman tells him to do.
3. My husband has a wonderful heavenly Father Who cares more about him than I do. God knows what he needs to change. I can leave my husband in God’s hands. I trust God to work on him. If I see something specific that really concerns me, I will bring it to the Lord. My husband really needs a wife that prays. God works through prayer. And I want God to work in the life of my husband.
4. If I only think about the negative things about my husband, then I will only see negative things. As wives, we are far too focused on what our husbands are doing “wrong.” I have found that if I look for the positive things about him, I will see more and more positive things.
Marriage is a beautiful picture of Christ and the church. Let’s encourage each other to follow God’s design in our marriages. Stay tuned for more posts on Marriage during the month of February.