Now, if you have read this blog for any length of time, you know that I adore and admire the women that contribute to Women Behind the Scenes. However, today, I want to introduce you to 5 women I know all too well that tend to give us a bad reputation in the ministry world. You may already know them since they tend to become the subject matter of not the nicest conversations around the church and you might just recognize her when you look in the mirror. I know there are times I do.
- Dramatic Denise
She likes all things dripping in drama, gossip, and hot lava-laden-conflict. She desperately wants to be in the center of EVERYTHING and the more of an upheaval it all becomes, the more satisfied she seems. She is not to be trusted with sensitive information as it will soon be swirling around the church causing relationship rifts and derailing any movement towards an uplifting, inviting atmosphere that may just bring in a few lost souls looking for a safe and loving haven away from the pain and hurt of the world.
- Negative Nicole
This gal may Tweet how much she loves serving alongside her handsome hubby, but spend 5 minutes with her and you’ll know she’s merely masking her true feelings. What she says openly friend-to-friend (or rather anyone who will listen) is that ministry is hard, her kids are THE WORST, and she has no friends. Nope, not even you who is sitting there listening to her endless rant. Hanging out with her family is not likely to be much better as they spend countless hours every week with this woman and will probably sound much the same.
- Bitter Betty
Somewhere along the way, this lady was hurt by someone in the ministry. She protects herself from further pain by refusing to let anyone get to know her, keeping her family closed off, and spewing her destructive attitudes at anyone who crosses her path. While it is true she loves the Lord you wouldn’t know from the way she treats anyone. It’s not your fault, her husband’s fault, or the church’s fault, but you would think it was. The church loves their Pastor but wonder what it would be like if his wife would let go and let God work through her in the ministry.
- Domineering Diane
She wears the pants in the family as well as in the ministry. You can find her telling her husband how to run his ministry (whose is it anyway?) or trying to control every move her children make in the pew next to her. She will fight for control in her marriage and ministry until her husband becomes nothing and does nothing because he can’t do anything right anyway. You will admire her for her involvement in ministry and her perfectly behaved kids without realizing what is being done by her hand to her family and the ministry the Lord has entrusted to them,
- Clicque-y Claire
She’s got a circle, and you’re not in it. She fails to see outside of her home and the friends she vibes the best with to see that you could really use her friendship and mentorship…or even just a friendly “hello” would be nice. She fails to see the opportunities for conversions and discipleship if she would extend her reach beyond that inner circle. She once was excited about ministry and reaching the world but the comfort of her warm relationships is just too difficult to leave for awkward conversations that will most likely lead nowhere anyway.
Of course these are exaggerated caricatures of people I made up, but I think we can all relate to these women in many ways. While we try to reign in the crazy, there are times that the hardships of ministry, marriage, and family steal our joy and giving into these worldly ways seems easier than fighting it. We must consider what we are doing to our families, churches, and those who watch our lives in search of the hope we have because of Christ. The crazy covers that light and makes us ineffective in gospel ministry. Don’t be one of these women. Be who God made you to be. Be a woman who brings people in and points them to Christ.
If you know one of these women, love the crazy right out of them. Encourage them to do more and be more for Christ with a sweet and gentle spirit. You may never know what you are doing for her, her family, and her ministry. And for the name of women in ministry around the world!