Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. ~Proverbs 31:23
Even though the culture that we live in today may not even value it, one of the most important roles a wife can have is to support her husband. And a woman that is beautiful in the eyes of God knows how to do just that.
Do you know how vital it is that you & I understand the priceless contribution that we as wives can make to our husbands as they are pursuing their career and are serving the Lord in their job? Consider first how the man of influence is his wife’s gift to the people. He is there out in the public. Leaves his home daily, follows God’s plan for his life & is making a difference in his community, if not the whole world!
However, behind him stands a wonderful, beautiful woman. One of the reasons that he is able to succeed & to thrive in the position of influence is that he has no worries at all at home. His honorable and prosperous home as a matter of fact enhances his reputation. By the virtue of his wife’s character & her being able to manage the home, he is able to serve in his position of influence. She makes it to where he is able to sit in the gate with the elders of the land. A woman of influence, has a home that is well ordered, which she runs, reflects positively on her man of influence as he has risen in social power and worldly wealth. Also her thriftiness & diligence at home has enabled him to dream dreams & to reach them. The influence this beautiful woman has had on her husband clearly helped him become a man of influence in the community.
A woman of influence that is a great example is Susannah Spurgeon, the wife of Charles Spurgeon. As his ministry started thriving, Charles thought that he was neglecting his children, so he returned home early one night. Upon opening the front door, he didn’t see any of his children in the hall way. As he went upstairs, he heard his wife’s voice & knew that she was praying with the children. She named each child one by one in prayer. As she finished her prayer & the nightly instructions to the little ones, Charles thought to himself, “I can go on with my work. My children are well cared for.” Just imagine, because of Susannah’s faithfulness & diligence at home, she gave the world Charles Haddon Spurgeon, and his words still stir & convict hearts today & also had four sons that became ministers.
Do you see your husband’s service “out there” as your gift to the people he works with or serves? You know after all, you are the one that fills him up and sends him off to be a blessing to others. He is your contribution to the company he works for, to society, to the people that are in his office, to customers he deals with daily, to the students he teaches, to the congregation—whatever the case maybe.He is also your contribution whether you work outside the home or spend every minute at home. Your support of him is not because you do or do not earn a paycheck yourself. Your support for him is a matter of your heart & your home; the issue is how you take care of him, of his home & of his children. It is all about your beautiful contribution to & for his well being.
How do we make such a valuable contribution……How do we give our husband the support & beautify his life?
1. Give him praise. ~ We all appreciate words of sincere praise, & so does your husband, he is no different. Proverbs 3:27 Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it. It is DEFINITELY in the power of your hand–and heart & mouth, to praise your man, so do so today & every day of your life, Proverbs 31:12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Tell him every day you love him, praise him for what he does for you & the family. Tell him while he can hear it today.
2. Encourage him ~ Just like praise, your husband needs to hear the words of encouragement. Correction at times can help, but encouragement goes much farther. Proverbs 12:25, Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad. Giving your husband a good word gives him courage to face life’s challenges. Open the beautiful mouth of yours and give words of wisdom & kindness. Let the love and encouragement flow, Proverbs 31:26, She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
3. Take care of your marriage ~ Truth isn’t very romantic, but we all know that a good marriage takes work!! Martin Luther, “Marriage is not a joke. It must be worked on & prayed over.” As wives we are called to pray for our husbands & to respect them. Ephesians 5:33, Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. This is a big order and a one for a lifetime. You will be a beautiful wife if you follow through with calling from God, and a wife that enjoys a beautiful marriage.
4. Take care of your family ~ The reason the husband of the woman in Proverbs 31 is a man of influence at his job & in the community is because his wife is a woman of influence at home. This is another calling from the Lord, and also another of His standards of beauty: We are to take care of our families. We are to take very seriously the schedule, the clothing, the counsel, the meals & the training that we give our children. We contribute to both our husband’s public reputation & usefulness in church when the home is running smoothly & effectively. 1 Timothy 3:4-5, One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) Nothing in this world credits a man as much as having a beautiful-in-God’s-eyes wife & a beautiful well behaved family!
5. Take care of your home ~ It is our job to make sure that all is well at home. We as wives need to tap into God’s great grace for help in handling our every day to day duties & also with the unexpected challenges that come our way. Ask the Lord to help you take joy & delight in caring for the ways of your home. Proverbs 31:27, She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
6. Take care of your finances ~ Wise money management is your gift to your husband. It gives him the financial freedom to follow his abilities & heart into an occupation of choice rather than one of necessity. As you keep watch over your family every day, by holding down the spending, upping the savings & by increasing the earnings, you are following in the footsteps of God’s wise & beautiful woman.
7. Let him go ~ This was a hard one for me, especially when we went full time in pastoring a church. He spent hours at church, or hospital or visiting. The only way I could help my husband be the pastor he needed to be was to give him to the Lord. He was His to begin with to do what He had called him to do. Take a look at this prayer of relinquishment. Maybe it might help to show you a better way to support and serve your husband.
God…..I declare afresh that my husband belongs to You, not to me. I have yielded all right to him–all right to his time, his understanding, his attention, his love. I will take what You give back as privileges to be used for my enjoyment and for Your glory as long as You see fit to give these privileges to us. I purpose to refuse [to let] any thoughts of self-pity, criticism, jealousy, or resentment creep in when these precious privileges are denied–when his time is taken up by others….when he seems to have failed in consideration and love. Lord…help Yourself to my husband’s life to spend it however You choose to let him spend it, regardless of the disadvantages to me personally. ~ Verna Birkey, Seminar Workshops for Women
The words in this prayer express substantially more beautiful attitude than begrudging, clinging, complaining, nagging & whining to your husband at the time he needs to do what he needs to do.
8. Support his dreams ~ Do not diminish his dreams. Be his number one cheerleader. Help him accomplish his dreams. The Lord gives your husband a desire to fulfill, to do not pour water on his fire. When Tony told me he felt like the Lord would have him pastor in 1996 and he asked me what I thought, I told him I would be with him & go with him where ever the Lord leads him. I told him the same thing when we left to be missionaries & to come back and him travel & then now pastoring again. The Lord called him to fulfill a purpose, and He called me to be Tony’s wife and to support him. Take a look at this piece of advice I came across, “Dream with your husband about the effect of his ministry. Share in the expectation & excitement together. Later on goals you establish will issue from ‘the dream.’ It will carry you during dry & trying times & help you remain faithful to the Lord, always seeking His best. ‘The dream’ keeps your focus on our great God and not on the day to day situations.” The attitude that must indeed be beautiful in God’s eyes is a heart attitude, in which these words express. No matter what your husband’s job is, his place of employment, his sphere of influence, you need to pour your strength into him by supporting his dreams rather than ignoring, belittling, or even laughing at the dream he has.
9. Realize that your behavior is a reflection on him ~ The Proverbs 31 woman’s husband “is known in the gates” (v. 23) for, many other things, but is known for having a worthy wife. Can that be said that is one of the reasons your husband is known & respected?
Proverbs 31:23 is a beautiful & empowering verse of scripture isn’t it? You and your husband are not t separate entities going after two separate causes in two different directions. You and your husband are like a pair of bookends. Together you stand as a unit, facing & managing together all the facets & challenges, all the causes & concerns, all the opportunities & dreams that make up your life as a couple. Rejoice in the fact that you are equal in influence & contribution, even though you live out those in separate arenas. When your husband is the center of attention, rejoice! When he excels, rejoice! When he is recognized & honored, rejoice! We as wives need to rejoice in the privilege of following in Jesus’ footsteps and giving our lives for our husbands in a sacrificial love, making that supreme sacrifice of ourselves to our husbands.
Pray and ask the Lord as you face this challenge to help you support your husband in ways that will strengthen him and glorify the Lord. Make a Proverbs 31:12 commitment to do your husband good all the days of your life by giving him praise, encouragement, by nurturing your marriage, serving your family, taking care of your home, helping by watching over the finances of your household, by supporting his dreams, and then praying for his success……that he may be a man of godly influence in his work & in the community.
I want to become more of a woman of influence for my husband.