If you know anything about me, you know that I have struggled for years with infertility. Yet, despite my infertility, I have one miracle baby (who is now three) and one more on the way (Only a few more weeks to go!). With that background, I have an incredible overwhelming thought that is constantly on my mind, and you’ll think I’m crazy for it.
How can I possibly love someone else?
I honestly wonder, “IS IT POSSIBLE???” nearly every day of pregnancy. I have even asked other mommy friends who have multiple children to explain to me how the heart is capable of loving another without taking away from your first child. I love Natalie more than I could express. There is something about that girl that floods my heart with such indescribable joy. I cant contain my hugs, kisses and “I love you’s” to her.
Three years ago, I experienced this same concern in the car on the way to be induced. I cried thinking “This is it…the end of it just being Andrew and me…How can I love this baby without taking away from my husband???” Of course, just as everyone explains to me now, the heart is capable of loving to an even greater degree, “It just happens” (and it did) but still, my heart had struggled to accept it until a conversation I had with one of my missionary friends.
We were talking about the kids, language school, the church and day to day life for each of us, when I realized something: this isn’t just a thought that I think as a mom expecting her second child, but it is also
a scenario that many women of many different circumstances face as well.
“How will I love another (people group)?”
“Can I love them, and serve them, without taking away from my family?”
“Is there enough within me to actually do this?”
As I think about my friends, (missionaries and mommies) I am encouraged to know that my response to them would be the same answer as the one I have sought in my own heart.
“YES. YES you WILL love another (people group), because Christ loves them, and gave himself for them…the love of Christ within us allows us to do the same.”
1 John 4:9 “In this was manifested the love of God toward us,because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.”
“YES!!! You CAN love and serve them, without taking away from– but ADDING to your family. Your kids will be richer for those new relationships, your husband will be blessed by your giving heart towards them, and there is no loss at stake here–only gain”
II Corinthians 9:8-11 “And God [is] able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all [things], may abound to every good work: (As it is written, He hath dispersed abroad; he hath given to the poor: his righteousness remaineth for ever.Now he that ministereth seed to the sower both minister bread for [your] food, and multiply your seed sown, and increase the fruits of your righteousness;) Being enriched in every thing to all bountifulness, which causeth through us thanksgiving to God.
” and Yes, there IS enough within you to do this because we are loved with an insurmountable love by our father, and HE is the provider of our love towards others. It is by Him, that we are able to reach out, and reap the blessings from His goodness and mercy towards mankind, and He will provide a flowing heart of love if we will just open it.”
There will be days that Natalie’s desires may be placed on a brief hold, while I tend to the needs of the baby, but that doesn’t mean I am neglecting her– the same way my friend isn’t neglecting her family as she takes time to work with a woman in her church, prepare a meal for an event, or study for a language test.
HOW IS IT POSSIBLE? The answer is always the same–Jesus. It’s possible because he FIRST loved us, set the example of what love looks like, and how it responds. He can grow our heart to accommodate more than our minds can comprehend because that’s the love He has for us: an indescribable, overwhelming, never-ceasing love.
Song of Solomon 8:7(a) “Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it:”