For Better or WORSE.

“For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish forever, according to God’s Holy Ordinance, and thereto I give thee my pledge.”

I am sure most of us remember the day we repeated our wedding vows. For me it was only 8 years ago, with a twinkle in my eye, I vowed these things to my husband. My heart skipped a beat, as I thought of all the ” better” things:   our little house, children, and the perfect life.  I don’t think many of us dwelled on the part where we say “ or worse“.

My parents will celebrate 40 years of marriage in March! Yes 40 years! When I think of the inspiration they have been in my life, I truely do not think first  of all the ” better” times they had in marriage (though we had a beautiful childhood with the most amazing memories ). What inspires me and helps me the most in my own marriage is when I think of the “worse” times. The times of heartache and loss, the times where the church they poured their lives into was struggling. When finances were just not lining up. I think of a  fight they may have had. And through all this ,I just think of how they never gave up, they withstood and pressed forward. I remember at times seeing my mom go to her closet with tears in her eyes. I remember knowing she would be seeking God about  a trial or hard time. After some time I would see her come out, ready to move foward, ready to fullfill the commitment she has made, for better “or worse“.


Job 23:10 “But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.”

My parents marriage is amazing and beautiful and has truely come forth as gold. Not because they were perfect, though I think they are pretty great.  Not because they held hands all the time, or always told each other they loved each other( though they did that too =).   It is pure gold because even when it got hard, really really hard giving up was never an option.

Through 8 years I have not experienced any where near the  trials that my parents have in 40 years (the entireity of their marriage they have been in full time ministry) . But when I do face a trial, or my marriage is just not going the way I dreamed it would, when the better times seems a little distant. I think about my parents and the way they faced the ” worse” times.

 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

When I think of my parent’s  marriage, and the marriage I want to have, I think about how they suffereth long, for the sake of love. They beareth things that were not easy, and endured and they hoped and believed in their marriage.

old cofield family picture

Thank you mom and Dad for showing me what a real marriage is. Not a fairytale or a movie, but the daily battle to never give up, to love when it seems to be impossible, and to keep hoping and believing in the vows we made.   Thank you for the amazing testimony I have been able to witness my entire life in your example of marriage, I saw not only 2 people crazy in love with each other but also so in love with the Lord that during tough times, giving up wasn’t an option.


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  • 4 thoughts on “For Better or WORSE.

    1. Wonderful post Steph!!! Thank you! Also, I couldn’t help but notice how much Addi looks like Stephen and Luke like Jason in that last pick. Wonderful family 🙂

    2. Love you my daughter and so proud of all my children and their families serving God together! This article made me go to my knees and pray for all of you that they would continue to just Love God with all their hearts!

    3. Thanks for sharing steph. This past year has been a year of the worse for us and this was an encouragement to me to lean on The Lord and never give up.

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