Have you ever begged God for something? I mean REALLY begged God for something?
We all remember from Sunday School that we can expect one of these three responses from God:
Yes, No, or Wait,
but sometimes I think we forget that God really does HEAR our prayers, and He does answer them. (And usually in one of those three ways 🙂
In my own life, I have asked God to give me a lot of things…A passing grade, a job, a husband, a baby, an answer, and so much more– I feel like I am constantly asking Him for something.
I have also asked God to remove a lot of things or situations from my life…the difficulty that comes from a divorced home, the issues that come from alcohol abuse within a family, the pain of the diagnosis of infertility…sometimes I’d rather God just leave those things out of my life. But they have value, and often far more value than what comes from “Yes” answered prayers.
When God tells us “Yes”, we are obviously thankful…but it’s not often (unless I am the only unspiritual one out here) that we remember to THANK Him as often as we may have begged of Him. But when God tells us “No”, or “Wait”, that’s when I have found myself desiring to be closer and closer to Him…Maybe it’s to be close enough to hear the reason why, maybe it’s my unconscious effort to “convince Him to give me what I want”, maybe it’s because that’s the way prayer in difficulty is designed. Either way, when I feel compelled to really plead to God for something, I always find that no matter what His answer is, how difficult it may be, I walk away knowing that I was close to Him.
Three specific times in my life, I have gone to God, begging Him to answer my prayers …and I’d like to share what I learned from the answers God gave to me: No, Yes, and Wait.
The first, (And this is a really funny one to me now) was when I begged God to let me marry a particular guy– I feel the need to point out that I was very young, and very dumb then– but I wanted to be a wife more than anything, and I just KNEW that it was in God’s plan to make me this certain guy’s wife.
God told me no (the guy broke up with me) and I was heartbroken. (I am shaking my head and giggling as I write, because I realize now just how much God loves me for NOT giving me what I begged for! THANK YOU, LORD!!!)
The second was with my diagnosis of infertility. In 2009, after asking God for a baby, the doctors labeled me “Infertile”. To keep a long story short, I was desperate to have a child, and convinced an amazing doctor in Peru to do an exploratory surgery on me. When I woke up from surgery, they explained that they found nothing. No reason for the pain, no reason for the diagnosis….nothing. I flew back home to the states totally defeated. I remember standing in the shower one night, as water and tears ran down my face, telling God “Fine. If this is what you have for me, then okay. I will take it. I refuse to live another day hurting and miserable, if you don’t want to give me a child, then fine.” (I had no idea that I, at that moment was already carrying a child in my womb that would soon be the greatest joy of my life. He answered that prayer with a YES, and I honestly thank Him EVERYDAY for her.
The last is a prayer is one that I am currently asking him for, and right now, He is still telling me “WAIT”.
My story hasn’t changed much, I have a diagnosis of “Secondary Infertility” but the pathway is different from the last. I am not defeated, but I am anxious to know if God wants what I want for my little family. Infertility has been a hard pill to swallow, because I know God sees that my heart is to be a mom, and to raise Godly children; but for some reason, He has chosen to make this a less than easy journey for us. He has already given me one miracle, and at any moment can chose to bless us again, and He very well might soon. I also know that sometimes we don’t see the purpose of his response until we are on the other side of the struggle. I have a time limit in my head (and even written in ink on my calendar) of the day I will stop using fertility drugs. At that point, if God hasn’t place a child in my body, I will assume that He wants to place a child into my arms, and we will begin the process of adoption. Maybe He wants to show me something more, maybe He just wants something different for me, but right now, I know that His answer is “WAIT”, and wait is what I will do until His steps are clear for me to make the next move.
Is there something that you are begging God for??? Remember that He hears those prayers, and He WILL answer them, but be prepared for the answer to not always be Yes, and know that one day (sooner or later), you’ll be able to see the reason and the blessing from his response.
I John 5:14
“And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:”