With only three months of marriage experience, I realize that I know next to nothing about marriage. Either way, I would highly recommend it to everybody because it is quite literally the best thing in the world. In the past three months, however, I have realized that there have been things God put in my path before I was married that have tremendously helped me in these three short months.
1. Relationship with God
The first thing I am grateful for is that I developed a close walk with the Lord while I was single. When I was a teenager, I struggled with many doubts about what I believed. Having grown up surrounded by ministry and missions, I knew all the answers to “what” I believed; I just never knew the “why”. I came very close to throwing it all away, but when I took a trip to Peru as a 17 year old, God worked tremendously in my heart and I decided that I would begin to learn what I believed about God and the Bible for myself. This changed everything in my life, and now I am preparing to be a missionary wife to Ecuador because of it.
A good wife is first and foremost a good Christian, so don’t let this area slide. Your relationship with the Lord does not mesh with your husband’s relationship with the Lord when you get married. Again, I have only been married for three months, but I have learned in that short time that I am more likely to serve my husband and be a happier wife when I am walking closely with Christ instead of leaning on my husband to be sufficient for all of my needs. Start taking steps to walk more closely with Christ now as a single and you will greatly benefit from it when you are married.
The second biggest thing that I am thankful for is the influence of older women in my life and the amount of time I was able to spend learning from their example. I have had the opportunity to spend a great deal of time with different woman in different stages of life who have taught me more than I could ever write in this short little blog.
Having a mentor in my life helped me to grow and become more of the woman that God wanted me to be. They helped me to identify areas in my life that needed changing and lovingly encouraged me along the way. It has been one of the greatest blessings in my life to know that I have people I can seek godly counsel no matter what is going on in my life.
If you are a younger lady, I would strongly encourage you to find someone you would like to learn from and spend time with them. Help them with housework if that is what it takes to be around them. Be teachable and open to their counsel and wisdom. Don’t be offended if they tell you that you are wrong, take it as a growing opportunity. Use the time that you have as a single to work on yourself and your personal growth. You will not change after you are married. If you are lazy now, you will be lazy when you have a husband. If you do not like to serve others now, you will hate serving your husband each and every day. As my good friend, Katie Gardner says “Non-teachable people are good for nothing, and nobody likes them.” So be teachable.
3. Get Busy
When I first began taking steps to prepare to be a missionary, I was told by a missionary to “follow God with all of your heart, and when a guy comes along, drop everything you are doing and follow him.”
I thought this was pretty good advice. Using your singleness to serve God doesn’t mean you will end up forever alone. However, learning how to serve God and others while you are single will tremendously help you for when you need to serve your husband.
Start preparing to be a wife by serving other people around you. Ask your pastor’s wife what you could do to be a blessing in the church. Serve in the nursery, assist in a children’s class, go on outreach, help with events, there are a billion things a single lady can do in the church.
Most of the time, younger girls are more worried about what man they will marry and less worried about what kind of a wife they will be to that man. Get your relationship with God right, get yourself a mentor to help you grow, and get busy serving God in this stage of your life.
I am so thankful that even before I was married, God gave me opportunity to prepare for the amazing journey.